I have most of it backed up here and there but its going to take months to edit and cut back together in order to look like what it was. That goes for everything except my newest novel which I was smart enough to hide in about 20 spots. Anyway, so somebody thought it would be funny to erase the computer when I wasn’t around and then when I was out of town they sent me a broken cd that supposedly had my files on it. It’s a long story and a fitting one to the shit show of my life, but before I get to some words of goodness, let me start with a message (gone out on all forms of mass digital nonsense) to whoever you are that had a good kick out of your games:
“There is person who tampered with my documents. I dont know who you are, but I dont care (after the rage settles that is) because you act like I’m rich. And I love how people hate on me when I have basically nothing. good for you my friend. good. for. you. I will make more. O just you wait you fucking coward. The paper-cut army will arrive with a vengeance.”
And now for some less angry words:
WHERE YOU AT BOY?
I don’t know, so I can’t really tell you that. I’m just somewhere within the darkness and alone and the only thing keeping me alive is the wrong answer… because in a way it’s the right answer… whatever that is… and whatever that means… to be right…and not to be… wrong.
I don’t know where and how, but I have to be…and yes…and I must be as right as right can be…because hell even everything… whatever it is…well something in my life has led me here.
And so where is here? Again… I don’t know. I’m located around the place where you find the words… I think…but…it doesn’t really matter what I think and that’s…well that’s because I can’t go back now and it led you here and I followed the wolf and the lobo that you became and this is the wolf you colored in over and over with crayons with your childhood dreams…
And this is the wolf that carried you passed the shelves and the streets that are littered with the kinds of cowards stapled inside of the American pop culture magazines, and somewhere along the road of your life the wolf became you… and now…
YOU ARE THE WOLF
This path is for the troubled sleepers and it’s a path that might be the most admirable one to follow, or so they say that in the end that if you can smile and grow with each new fault then a man you’ll be….always one with the wolf. And remember kid, please do, remember what they told you:
They said that no matter what happens….that your life is always full of greatness, especially in the darkness of loneliness, and that’s especially true if you look at life during the middle of a thunderstorm and squint.
You got it. Now you remember. Now go!
Adventures In American Writing 