Free Writing lesson for Nobody (January Draft Pages 2)

(Editing my collection I realized it is, sort of, a writing text book of…just sorts…I don’t know. This was an old piece I’ve been editing the past couple hours, and maybe it will do someone some good, maybe not. So be it.)

Some Writers have been seen Shooting guns as the words mold over…

Writers have many tools in the so-called, writing tool box. First rule: Never wait for the words to come. There are many rules in this book, and many of them I think have been numbered one, and so just forget about numbers and think about the rules, break the rules and write your own if you have to, just…so here: I’m going to type and say some words about this thing called Writer’s block, and please note: I’ve  been in arguments with many professors and writers and high lords of scholar about all this writing jazz, and why, because people like to argue with me and hate on me because my big mouth, and…I have no other clue why. Usually they just don’t get what I’m trying to throw-down and I guess I look like someone you’re not supposed to trust…or … and so whatever the problem seems to be when it comes to my writing theory… I admit that have writers block from time to time…hey now…I’m just like you, blood and bone and human brain, and you know what I do, real easy: this is a job and so I just work through it. I guess this discipline has been drilled into my skull from college when I had to write so much and don’t tell anybody but once in a blue moon I wrote papers for people because they paid me… anyway, it’s simple: You just have to work through it. How? Like this: Find things to make you laugh and listen to music and write about what you feel, and sometimes…just keep going and forget that you’re writing, and when you’re writing in fiction just go on with what the character is doing, follow them around and don’t wait for the character, forget about the clock and forget about hunger, forget about yourself will ya’…do this: Just watch them like real life, and when you get to the editing process the story will change but the initial action of creating is a mess and never forget this is a mess, writing is a mess, life is a mess, hot and cold water, a mess, snow, a mess, dogs and love and space and magic, a mess, everything is a mess, and when you’re tired and when you think you should wait to write, sometimes maybe you should wait, but sometimes I’ve discovered this is one of the best times to write. It’s true: Writing is easy and let your fingers dance and don’t think of them as rocks. Use those typing fingers of yours and slam them like a caveman when you need to and pace yourself like brass player and slow down and look down…ever- so-slowly at the keyboard when you’re lost. The keys are a map and you’re brain is driving, and sometimes the map falls under the seat, and then you get lost, and sometimes you drive in circles, but that’s how you learn about your surroundings, and then you don’t even need a map no more, at least most of the time, because sometimes you might even need a map in your own home, such as when you lose your car keys…BEEP… and that’s why you should just go and tap away and ask yourself questions about life as you write, and I don’t know the answer really, or really even the question, but I’m asking you to ask yourself: Does the painter ever blame the paintbrush? I don’t think they do, maybe they do, but who cares, the point is… just write and see where the character is going and sometimes they’re just picking their nose, but if that character is who you say they are, then you’ll see the character do something interesting. Don’t be so half in and half out. You want to write well shut-up and kill yourself slowly and just do it already and be a writer. I trust you’ll be better than me and part-time? No thanks. Go back to business school then, because you can’t pick and choose. You have to take the good with the bad, and so what, because life is a mess and there will be a ton of filler, but just cut that out later, or do what I do and don’t waste the scraps: come back later and make something else with it, and really, sorry kid, but as a writer all you can do is write. You can’t wait for the publishers and the man anymore, because they’re dead, and so…can I ask you a question: is this all about money to you? If so, get over it, but No… Not for you…because You like writing, and for you it’s about the words, just as much as it’s about life, and this is a path and so now kid…come on and grow up, because it’s time to stop blaming the readers and the Pulitzers…and sure…at times I’ve got some major problems getting in the mood, and so goes the  snoring and the doors and what the hell, and the girls and a war and this thing named old age and my family and the internet and then there’s custard filler, and then there’s those doubts and heat clicks and the cold summer, and there’s many questions too, such as, when should you sleep and how many mirrors does a society need, and the pain…and…just…everything… LIFE: it’s a mess… and that’s what I’m trying to explain. Writing is life. I don’t care, you can do what you want, and tools? I don’t know what that means, but since we have to call something…something…yes, I use a ton of different tools, usually just a hammer though, because I’m caveman kinda writer, and As David Bowie said…it aint easy… so be cool kid, and hang on: I thought of another good trick I used back in the day when I was surrounded by a ton of visual artists. It was good and bad being the only writer in the gang, plus I was older and starving, but I learned from them that by making a collage out of old magazine pictures gives you a real look at your dreams where your characters may live. Sound strange? This is how movies are made. When you write, you’re a cameraman, and so go and film in the woods with your mind, and the best advice to GOOD WRITING IS: THE STRIVING FOR GOOD LIVING: Paint. Cook. Cut/Copy. Sing. Get arrested for parking tickets. Become the mascot of society. Fight and run and then join a new church. Shave your head. Become a sinner and then a saint. Love and hate and burn your hand softly. Dance and Sex and Brush your teeth. Give yourself a small paper cut and let it bleed on a feather….

…anything weird and anything normal will do, but just don’t wait for the words, because if you do you’ll probably never be what they call “a writer”…which isn’t a big deal… because the world doesn’t need many more writers, and this, I’ve been told to be true, by many of the money makers. I’m just saying…

…that if you do…if you want to be a writer, go and do this: write. 


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