Notes Reported by Guest Writer, Auden Wyatt
Intro: Nothing says gonzo journalism more than a wet burrito and sparks energy drinks. (save the bathroom humor for dad-time or something)
2. The radio just said that the Michigan state police now have a drone in their “arsenal” that will go to help “the farmers”. This is a classic 911 story. There are many interruptions. The police are in the alley. The savages wont give a child back to its owner or something, and of course there are dogs. The swamps remind me of Chicago. The Bonneville was missing half of everything by this point. The big rally was over and we were eating chicken nuggets with young business students and Marxists alike. The nightmare before Scarborough country that was Ann Coulter. What a Nazi. The days of the real double cheese. I don’t know man, It’s such a terrible timeline that the years don’t even matter. It starts 2000-01ish and ends on the U.S.S Abraham Lincoln. What a shit show. Thank god for taco Tuesday. The Story needs to stop.
2. My mind is a particle accelerator. The history of my 9-1-1 is as absurd as W’s MISSION ACCOMPLISHED sign. World can’t wait bro. AND I’ve found out that Hunter S. Thompson does not like PBR and White Pontiac Bonnevilles. Geezer.
3. That was a close one. Almost went on rampage, but don’t worry. I found my pipe pen. Great product. (this is the actual one, I’ll hunt you down like a dumb dog if you steal it drunk)