What’s he doing?

portableI’m just a normal growing up American writer man trying to get to the south before the snow claims my youth. Just learning all about how America and the World really is, and I’m a wandering fool sometimes, and ha, I can imagine the kick that the federal security is having watching me walk around this airport like I’m the last human alive after the zombie apocalypse has occurred:

“What’s he doing?”
“He’s just dancing around.”
“Should we go and talk to him?”
“Taken care of sir…”

“Now he’s back in the smoking room.”
“Now he’s drinking another Aunty Mzzz’s Slush Puppy.”
“Based on a quick count His favorite seems to be…red.”
“Boy sure likes his coffee, doesn’t he?”
“It would appear so.”
“Why’s he even here?”
“Oh, he missed his airplane. Funny story. He actually was boarded onto a plane that wasn’t even his.”
“He wasn’t stopped, by security..?”
“No. Apparently he walked on and found his way to where he thought his seat was, based on his ticket. After placing his backpack and typewriter in the overhead he asked a man who was sitting there to get up. Records show that our boy said, “Well, this is weird. Huh. Right? We both have the same seat”. Next, based on camera recordings, what he did was this: he waved down and told the stewardess about what he thought was a double booking. After looking at his ticket she said, “Sir, you’re on the wrong airplane.” He was very nice about the whole mess, said, “Man, I’m an idiot, and well, better get off, but wait, in this day and age, how does this happen? How can I even get on the wrong airplane? Not my place…but…nope…”
Everyone was laughing and he was exited back into the terminal. It was minutes from taking off.”
“Wait…He’s the only one that caught that he got on the wrong plane?”
“Yes. He walked off, said, “I don’t want to go to Fort Lauderdale anyway.”
“Yeah, and so we booked him first class delta to his final destination in the morning.”
“Damn, he’s got a good little layover doesn’t he?”
“Yep. Yes sir, he sure does.”

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